My mucker Big Pat has just came home from a humping tour of Liverpool. Now Big Pat is a bit of an internet slut. Seriously. He goes on to the chatrooms, sweet-talks the ladies, gets their phone number, melts the panties off them with his thick Belfast brogue, and before you know it he's been on the Easy Jet website and has his next conquest booked. 'Pussy-baiting from the comfort of your own home', as he so articulately refers to his activities. 'Isn't technology wonderful?'
So I picked him up from the airport last night, and asked him how he got on. 'Very well', he replied, 'but one of the birds I went over to see spoiled the moment'.
'What happened?' I enquired.
'Well, she stripped off her clothes, and it ended up she was wearing knickers with the middle part missing', he said.
'I think you'll find they're called crotchless panties', I advised.
'Anyway', he continued, 'she pointed to her blurt and asked if I wanted to lick it. No fucking way am I going near that, said I. Just look what it's done to your knickers!'
Stupid cunt.
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5 comments:
Don't blame him. I wouldn't go down on some chick willing to put it out for any oul lad who sends her an email either.
JC beat me to it. She sounds like a skanky bitch.
Was that the one that Wayne Rooney visited?
And just to clarify: how do they know he has a Belfast accent when he's typing the messages??
...because he gets their phone number.
I think you lads have all missed the boat here. He didn't understand the concept of crotchless panties... so he said he wasn't going near it because it had burnt her panties in the middle...
I caught the boat. I just didn't want to disembark!
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