Saw an ad for Magners while stuck in traffic on the Lisburn Road today. It has the customary 'health warning' with it now:
'Enjoy Magners Responsibly'
I promise I won't spill a drop.
Hope you all get blitzed this St. Pat's weekend.
Friday, 16 March 2007
Wednesday, 14 March 2007
Green taxes my hole
Am I the only one that is getting sick and tired of hearing about green issues and global warming?
It's in the paper every fucking day now, and seems to be a particular favourite hobby horse of the beard-stroking, cardigan-wearing, 'hug-a-Muslim' Guardian. I know that it is a serious problem, but what is the point in me cutting down in car usage and electricity when big business just doesn't give a bollix about what it pumps into the air?
My humble opinion: the government is gonna squeeze this green agenda thing for all it is worth, and that can only mean more taxes for the plebs. Look at it this way. The powers that be could turn round and say, 'Right Treason, me old china, we're putting your car tax up by £200 a year and we're slapping 25p on a litre of petrol.' That puts me and a lot of other people off the road. The rich, however, will just shrug their shoulders, pay the extra whack and continue to drive little Timothy 100 yards to the prep school every morning in the gas guzzling Merc. Ordinary Joe Bloggs will be priced off the roads in pretty much the same way he has been priced off the property ladder and out of third-level education.
And what will the government do with that extra money? Spend it on environmental concerns? Fucking sure they won't. It'll end up the way all taxpayers' money does - spent on keeping the lazy workshy bastards sitting on their fucking holes all day long, and paying for people to be in this country who shouldn't be here; and all the while the stupid cunts like myself who actually work for a living get screwed left, right and centre. That's why I see it as my personal, moral obligation to pay as little tax as I can possibly get away with. I get my petrol from over the border. I get my booze at knock down prices. When I smoked, I bought contraband cigs. And I have a wee sideline that brings me in a bit of cash that the taxman doesn't see.
If the government can't spend my money responsibly, then it will see less of it. Cunts.
It's in the paper every fucking day now, and seems to be a particular favourite hobby horse of the beard-stroking, cardigan-wearing, 'hug-a-Muslim' Guardian. I know that it is a serious problem, but what is the point in me cutting down in car usage and electricity when big business just doesn't give a bollix about what it pumps into the air?
My humble opinion: the government is gonna squeeze this green agenda thing for all it is worth, and that can only mean more taxes for the plebs. Look at it this way. The powers that be could turn round and say, 'Right Treason, me old china, we're putting your car tax up by £200 a year and we're slapping 25p on a litre of petrol.' That puts me and a lot of other people off the road. The rich, however, will just shrug their shoulders, pay the extra whack and continue to drive little Timothy 100 yards to the prep school every morning in the gas guzzling Merc. Ordinary Joe Bloggs will be priced off the roads in pretty much the same way he has been priced off the property ladder and out of third-level education.
And what will the government do with that extra money? Spend it on environmental concerns? Fucking sure they won't. It'll end up the way all taxpayers' money does - spent on keeping the lazy workshy bastards sitting on their fucking holes all day long, and paying for people to be in this country who shouldn't be here; and all the while the stupid cunts like myself who actually work for a living get screwed left, right and centre. That's why I see it as my personal, moral obligation to pay as little tax as I can possibly get away with. I get my petrol from over the border. I get my booze at knock down prices. When I smoked, I bought contraband cigs. And I have a wee sideline that brings me in a bit of cash that the taxman doesn't see.
If the government can't spend my money responsibly, then it will see less of it. Cunts.
Monday, 12 March 2007
It Beggars Belief
Why are there so many beggars on the streets of Belfast these days?
I don't mind the odd one who looks like he's been dragged through a hedge and is looking 50p for a cup of tea. I usually end up giving him a pound, there for the grace of God go I and all that. But today was different. There was a guy begging outside the Mall in Great Victoria Street. He was of south Mediterranean appearance. He put the lid of an aerosol can in front of my face and asked me for spare change. He was kitted out in the best of gear. He had better strides than me, better shoes than me and a better coat than me. All in all he was better looked after than me! I just looked at him and walked on. He'll probably end up getting a few quid and then drive off home in his new Beemer or something.
I know charity begins at home, but I'm starting to get pissed off with it. Also in Great Victoria Street a few weeks ago, some local guy begging reached his arm out and tried to pull me towards him. He may have been going for the friendly approach, but he also may have been going for my throat with a knife. I told him to fuck away off before I ripped his head off and stuck it up his hole. He was not so quick to come near me when I walked by again 10 minutes later.
They're starting to become as bad as the charity wanker headlockers than infest the city centre. I wonder how much cattle prods go for on eBay?
I don't mind the odd one who looks like he's been dragged through a hedge and is looking 50p for a cup of tea. I usually end up giving him a pound, there for the grace of God go I and all that. But today was different. There was a guy begging outside the Mall in Great Victoria Street. He was of south Mediterranean appearance. He put the lid of an aerosol can in front of my face and asked me for spare change. He was kitted out in the best of gear. He had better strides than me, better shoes than me and a better coat than me. All in all he was better looked after than me! I just looked at him and walked on. He'll probably end up getting a few quid and then drive off home in his new Beemer or something.
I know charity begins at home, but I'm starting to get pissed off with it. Also in Great Victoria Street a few weeks ago, some local guy begging reached his arm out and tried to pull me towards him. He may have been going for the friendly approach, but he also may have been going for my throat with a knife. I told him to fuck away off before I ripped his head off and stuck it up his hole. He was not so quick to come near me when I walked by again 10 minutes later.
They're starting to become as bad as the charity wanker headlockers than infest the city centre. I wonder how much cattle prods go for on eBay?
Sunday, 11 March 2007
While I was away..
No, I wasn't kidnapped by rock n'roll lovin' aliens, I've been very busy watching all the election results and laughing really hard at Rainbow George getting more votes than Bob McCartney. If there's anyone that fully deserves to have a rusty pole shoved up his bangle until his eyes bulge, it's McCartney. Equally delighted to see that Anna Lo cleaned up in South Belfast, especially at the expense of the DUP.
So what's happens now? Will we get our government? I think we will. Big Ian's looking towards his own legacy, same as Blair, and he will want to be Big Chief Dirty Bum of this place before he croaks it, which will hopefully be sooner rather than later. He's got the green light from his electorate to do it (to do a deal with the Chucks, not croak it).
I was kinda hoping, just for a laugh, that the Shinners would have came out with the most seats. That would have really set the cat among the pigeons to see Art Garfunkel as First Minister. The look on Nigel Dodds face would be priceless!
Other than that, I've been trying to kill Phil Collins in GTA Vice City Stories. An honourable pastime I'm sure you'll agree.
So what's happens now? Will we get our government? I think we will. Big Ian's looking towards his own legacy, same as Blair, and he will want to be Big Chief Dirty Bum of this place before he croaks it, which will hopefully be sooner rather than later. He's got the green light from his electorate to do it (to do a deal with the Chucks, not croak it).
I was kinda hoping, just for a laugh, that the Shinners would have came out with the most seats. That would have really set the cat among the pigeons to see Art Garfunkel as First Minister. The look on Nigel Dodds face would be priceless!
Other than that, I've been trying to kill Phil Collins in GTA Vice City Stories. An honourable pastime I'm sure you'll agree.
Wednesday, 7 March 2007
Death Becomes Them
As you all know, I want to set up a Department of Cultural Cleansing when I become Taoiseach, and I've been thinking about the ways in which Westlife can be executed live on national television (hosted by Marty Whelan and Gráinne Seoige). Here's what I have so far.
1) They are stripped naked, each tied to a post and smeared in honey in a locked room, then a million wasps are let loose in there.
2) They each have to stick their cock in a ball of mince steak, and four rottweilers are let off their leashes. They'll snuff it from the shock alone.
3) A battle-to-the-death Gladiator style contest in the Point Depot. The last one standing is hole-rimmed to the grave by UTV's Julian Simmons.
4) An old fashioned game of Russian Roulette with unidentified pills.
You gotta help me out here folks. Whoever comes up with the best suggestion gets a seat in the cabinet as Minister for decapitating B-B-Bertie Ahern.
1) They are stripped naked, each tied to a post and smeared in honey in a locked room, then a million wasps are let loose in there.
2) They each have to stick their cock in a ball of mince steak, and four rottweilers are let off their leashes. They'll snuff it from the shock alone.
3) A battle-to-the-death Gladiator style contest in the Point Depot. The last one standing is hole-rimmed to the grave by UTV's Julian Simmons.
4) An old fashioned game of Russian Roulette with unidentified pills.
You gotta help me out here folks. Whoever comes up with the best suggestion gets a seat in the cabinet as Minister for decapitating B-B-Bertie Ahern.
Monday, 5 March 2007
Nice One Frank
Must give a big thumbs-up to Frank Mitchell who gave this blog a mention on his U105 mid-morning show today. I caught the tail-end of a discussion about blogs and I was pleasantly surprised to hear the Voice of Treason held up as 'a blog not for the easily offended'.
World domination can't be far away.
Now Frank, if you really want to get into my good books, you can take a meat cleaver to George Jones' head.
World domination can't be far away.
Now Frank, if you really want to get into my good books, you can take a meat cleaver to George Jones' head.
Sunday, 4 March 2007
Bob McCartney talks balls
I was watching 'The Politics Show' on BBC1 earlier; it was an hour-long special on Norn Iron, seeing as we are off to vote early and vote often on Wednesday.
The first part of the programme had representatives from the Ulster Unionists and the DUP, and the one-man show that is Bob fucking McCartney QC, the biggest pain in the hole to walk this earth since David Beckham.
Bob was giving both the UUP and the DUP a strict telling off about having/intending to share power with Sinn Féin, and then he came off with the statement that 'both parties want to go into government with those who murdered Protestants and destroyed their property'.
To listen to McCartney, and other unionists, you would think that the whole war here was just an exercise in republican brutality, and that unionists sat back and suffered in silence. From 1987 onwards, loyalist paramilitaries slaughted more people than republicans, and continued to wipe out all round them after the ceasefires were called. The silence from the unionist parties was deafening; some of them such as that tone-deaf preacher Willie McCrea chose to share public platforms with the likes of King Rat. More tellingly, the unionist parties also said absolutely fuck all about the state murder of scores of people when the report into collusion was published a few weeks back. And these people expect the electorate to believe that they are democrats? What chance of them sharing power with nationalists when they shout each other down in a television studio?
The very fact that Bob has to stand in six constitutencies simultaneously for his fUKUP party speaks volumes of his political irrelevance. He also conveniently forgot to enlighten us as to what his alternative to devolved government is. Another 4 years of being under the thumb of Hain and his other blow-in fuckwits from Blighty? Stick that one up your bangle, Bob.
The first part of the programme had representatives from the Ulster Unionists and the DUP, and the one-man show that is Bob fucking McCartney QC, the biggest pain in the hole to walk this earth since David Beckham.
Bob was giving both the UUP and the DUP a strict telling off about having/intending to share power with Sinn Féin, and then he came off with the statement that 'both parties want to go into government with those who murdered Protestants and destroyed their property'.
To listen to McCartney, and other unionists, you would think that the whole war here was just an exercise in republican brutality, and that unionists sat back and suffered in silence. From 1987 onwards, loyalist paramilitaries slaughted more people than republicans, and continued to wipe out all round them after the ceasefires were called. The silence from the unionist parties was deafening; some of them such as that tone-deaf preacher Willie McCrea chose to share public platforms with the likes of King Rat. More tellingly, the unionist parties also said absolutely fuck all about the state murder of scores of people when the report into collusion was published a few weeks back. And these people expect the electorate to believe that they are democrats? What chance of them sharing power with nationalists when they shout each other down in a television studio?
The very fact that Bob has to stand in six constitutencies simultaneously for his fUKUP party speaks volumes of his political irrelevance. He also conveniently forgot to enlighten us as to what his alternative to devolved government is. Another 4 years of being under the thumb of Hain and his other blow-in fuckwits from Blighty? Stick that one up your bangle, Bob.
Thursday, 1 March 2007
Dead Ringers, 2
Ulster Unionist Party leader Sir Reg Empey and evil Springfield power plant owner Montgomery Burns. Separated at birth? Excellent!
Wednesday, 28 February 2007
Don't kid yourself
All over the news today: a report on discrimination in the workplace has found that women with young children fare worst of all when it comes to employment.
Not in my workplace they don't - mothers with young children milk it for all it's worth, pardon the pun. Wee Johnny only has to sneeze and they're taking five days off because 'the child's not well'. In fact, there's women in my workplace who, having managed to be absent for most of the year because of their brats, then get their promotion boards. Who are they, Paul fucking Daniels? How can you prove your suitability for work at the next grade when you're never there to do the work at your current grade? I can hear toes treading lightly among the management.
Anyway...
As far as I'm concerned, having children is a lifestyle choice. If you can't afford kids, don't have them. It's as simple as that. Hearing women complaining about work and kids is a bit like me buying a top-of-the-range Beemer and then grumbling because I can't keep up the payments. Either be a mother or an employee. Don't try and be both. I resent paying taxes to keep up other people's kids when I, as a single, childless man, get fuck all tax breaks from the government for not being a drain on the state. And before some smart arse says, 'The taxes from today's kids will pay for your pension', answer me the question why I pay national insurance contributions now if it is not going towards MY pension.
Not in my workplace they don't - mothers with young children milk it for all it's worth, pardon the pun. Wee Johnny only has to sneeze and they're taking five days off because 'the child's not well'. In fact, there's women in my workplace who, having managed to be absent for most of the year because of their brats, then get their promotion boards. Who are they, Paul fucking Daniels? How can you prove your suitability for work at the next grade when you're never there to do the work at your current grade? I can hear toes treading lightly among the management.
Anyway...
As far as I'm concerned, having children is a lifestyle choice. If you can't afford kids, don't have them. It's as simple as that. Hearing women complaining about work and kids is a bit like me buying a top-of-the-range Beemer and then grumbling because I can't keep up the payments. Either be a mother or an employee. Don't try and be both. I resent paying taxes to keep up other people's kids when I, as a single, childless man, get fuck all tax breaks from the government for not being a drain on the state. And before some smart arse says, 'The taxes from today's kids will pay for your pension', answer me the question why I pay national insurance contributions now if it is not going towards MY pension.
Monday, 26 February 2007
Piracy is communism
I got a glimpse of this on the BBC's website, a story of how a Bit Torrent site is planning to introduce a pay section to download films, music, etc. The story goes on to state that it (the Bit Torrent site) acknowledges that it will have a hard task convincing those who currently get all the movies, TV shows and music they want without paying.
Fucking right they will.
I think that the ease with which I can go on to the internet and download entertainment, especially music, is fantastic and the record companies deserve all their lost profits. When the cassette tape became popular in the late 70s/early 80s, the record bosses re-released most of their back catalogues on the new format and charged punters full price for an album that may have been, say, 15 years old. Then they did exactly the same when compact discs were launched. Add to this the fact that the record companies have been artificially inflating the price of CDs in Europe for years, and it does them no PR favours to be complaining of punters illegally downloading material when they have been ripping these same punters off for God knows how long. It stinks to high heaven the way that these companies are stamping their feets and huffing because they can't get their own childish way.
I will continue to download music as I have done for the last five years because I'm only getting back what I shouldn't have paid the cunts. If the record companies don't like it, I really don't give a fuck, and neither do millions of other people.
Fucking right they will.
I think that the ease with which I can go on to the internet and download entertainment, especially music, is fantastic and the record companies deserve all their lost profits. When the cassette tape became popular in the late 70s/early 80s, the record bosses re-released most of their back catalogues on the new format and charged punters full price for an album that may have been, say, 15 years old. Then they did exactly the same when compact discs were launched. Add to this the fact that the record companies have been artificially inflating the price of CDs in Europe for years, and it does them no PR favours to be complaining of punters illegally downloading material when they have been ripping these same punters off for God knows how long. It stinks to high heaven the way that these companies are stamping their feets and huffing because they can't get their own childish way.
I will continue to download music as I have done for the last five years because I'm only getting back what I shouldn't have paid the cunts. If the record companies don't like it, I really don't give a fuck, and neither do millions of other people.
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