I'm due to go on the big flying tin to Blighty this week, and once again my mind is turned to the issue of safety in our skies, especially when you have the country overrun with the crazy cunts of Islam. Now I know there's not much chance of Abdul Ahmed al-Madfucker blowing up a flight to or from Belfast, but hey, maybe they hate Guinness and soda bread for being 'un-halal' and the black gold of the devil.
So, to assure my piece of mind whilst flying over the Irish Sea I have decided to implement my own safety measure. A bacon sandwich in my hand luggage. Yes, the humble bacon sarnie is enough to throw even the most mentally unstable carpet-kisser into a complete blinder. Must be something to do with the pork. I might even bring a packet of Denny's sausages too, in case there's a few of them. Then, while our would-be hijacker is cowering from the raw banger, I'll get up and stick my size 10 boot full force right into his bollix, and then his throat. He'll meet his virgins in heaven a bit sooner than expected. Cunt.
Muslims. I fucking hate them.
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7 comments:
If you really want to shame them, you should throw the sausages at them. The truly crazy believe that even touching a pig denies them access to heaven.
Then smack him with the old size tens.
Dario,
I like your thinking. Skobies, Spides, Muslims and Westlife. They must be eradicated.
While I'm not saying eradicate all Muslims - just the cunts who paraded around Trafalgar Square with placards saying 'Behead Those Who Offend Islam' - having heard recently that some young Irish Muslims asked their imam about suicide bombings, I'd be inclined to change my mind ...
Though if they wanted to send Westlife to Allah, I'd have no complaints.
I love the bacon sandwich idea!!
Maybe if we all carried a small jar of pig blood to throw on muslims when the need be we would all be better off.
Well, i'm off to finish cooking the pork loin roast so I can make pork Barbque later today.
Brian: don't forget to make me up a doggy bag!
Brian: don't forget to make me up a doggy bag!
Pork roast is finished. The bones have been removed and tomorrow morning I'll rip and tear away at the well cooked pig muscle. I'll add onion, catsup, garlic, mustard, brown sugar, wishyoucouldsayit sauce and some creole seasoning. I'll let it simmer for 6 to 7 hours.
By tomorrow evening I'll be feasting!
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